This Sacred Road

On this path of living my truth,
I bump into all the times I’ve been untrue:
The job endured because I felt I should,
The countless times I’ve said yes to please another,
When every cell in my body was screaming no.
Image: dugdax
The relationship severed and lost,
Because I lacked the courage to speak up,
Or spoke too freely, without discernment,
Of import, of kindness, of truth.
Each misstep, a bruise, a welt, a cut I carry still.

The heavy sandbags of grief, shame and despair,
The concepts I hold, built on values of family, society,
Of how life should be, form solid walls, 
A prison cell around my true self.
They bar my freedom, block my light.

I touch these tender purple lesions,
Soft abrasions, rubbed raw through time,
Deep gashes still bleeding hurt,
Untended wounds, too painful to clean,
And hold each one up to His loving gaze.

I thank each blunder for the blessing it bears,
The insight, the wisdom, the truth of what I am not.
The barricades begin to dissolve,
The bleeding stems, aches recede, and wounds start to heal,
Each scar a testament to this sacred road travelled.

If this post resonated with you, I’d love to hear, do comment.

2 thoughts on “This Sacred Road

  1. Dear Chloe, So beautifully rendered, and experiences I have had as well! His soothing love heals, self-forgiveness gradually absorbs all the hurts into a different point of view, where the pain transforms like compost to the rich soil of wisdom, compassion, empathy, and an ability to befriend myself and others. Lower survival has a high cost, but higher survival knows only love, even for the mistakes of the past. How else would we learn? We can’t judge ourselves for what we didn’t know, for the overwhelm of potential threat to our egos or separation from friends and family if we choose something different than what seems acceptable. So ironic, but it takes ‘uncanny bravery’ to choose love over fear, but losing oneself is too high a price to pay. Thank you so much for your beautiful and brave sharing! Your honesty fuels my strength to choose love, choose soul. Baraka Bashad

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Holland, that’s so beautifully articulated. It does indeed take an ‘uncanny bravery’ to choose love over fear, and each misstep is just a learning experience, a redirection to live one’s deeper truth. Thank you for this ongoing contemplation.

      Liked by 1 person

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